Paradigms and Principles

Throughout my life there have been many situations were my attitudes and beliefs have shifted slightly. I’ve modified some of my attitudes, and critiqued some of my beliefs, but when I was a Junior in high school I experienced a complete paradigm shift. During my high school years, I struggled with depression and anxiety all the time. Everyone in my high school knew me as someone who struggled with mental illness. It was not an easy time for me because not only was I consumed in my own depression and anxiety, it had manifested to the point where everyone else saw that I was consumed by it as well. Then I reached my final breaking point, and from then on everything began to shift. I started to realize that having anxiety didn’t have to be part of my identity! The world didn’t have to be this dark, unforgiving place that didn’t let me move on from my issues. I started to see my anxiety as something I could overcome. I was a whole person apart from my anxiety and I didn’t have to carry that weight with me any longer. After I had this realization, things were on an upward trend. I was able to enjoy myself, find myself more immersed in my faith, and love others without being so consumed by my own mental issues. I couldn’t be more grateful for this paradigm shift.

The part of this chapter that really caught my attention was when Covey was discussing the picture of the young woman/ the old woman. He mentioned how one student said she’s lovely and another student claimed she was an old hag. I love this part of the chapter because I think it fits perfectly with my personal paradigm shift. You can spend so much of your life looking at this picture and think, “oh its ugly” or “she’s just an old ugly woman.” but the reality is that there is another view point that is the exact opposite. This made me think of myself during my time suffering with anxiety and depression. My view toward the world was that it was ugly, just like the old woman. It wasn’t until my perspective shifted that I was able to see the beautiful side of what I was looking at in my life.

In this chapter, Covey says, “We are free to choose our actions, but we are not free to choose the consequences of those actions.” I think this sentence means that we can choose how we want to handle a situation, but we will never be sure of the outcome of the actions we choose. There have been many times in my life that I have questioned whether or not I made the correct decision, but there is one that stands out to me the most. There was a time that I had to make the choice to go to Michigan with my friend Leah for vacation. Leah and I had a rocky friendship throughout high school due to boys, and had several instances of her choosing other people over our friendship. Before we left for vacation Leah had informed me that she was having an affair with a married man, and she had invited him to Michigan with us. When I told my parents the situation, they warned me not to go. I decided I would give her the benefit of the doubt, and go to Michigan anyways. The trip ended up being a disaster, as I was clearly only there to be a cover to her mom so she could have a vacation with her boyfriend. I asked her for her car, and drove 8 hours home by myself after being there for 2 days. I wish I had decided not go, instead of going through the awkwardness of that trip.